Magnificent Distractions – Two Ryder Cup Snafus

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There are three certainties in life. Death, taxes, and Phil Mickelson verbally lighting someone up at the Ryder Cup.

Let’s go back to 2014, when in the pre-competition presser, the lefthander, when asked how the team was getting along, answered, “Not only are we getting along together, but we also have avoided filing lawsuits against each other,” this pointed at Rory McIlroy and Gram McDowell, who were on opposite sides of litigation against the former’s former management company.

And after another colossal US failure, Lefty left so many tread marks on captain Tom Watson that the latter got endorsement offers from both Michelin and Greyhound.

So it should come as no huge surprise that at this year’s opening presser, Phil, as only he can, gave Watson some company under the bus in the person of 2004 captain Hal Sutton. While extolling the virtues of current skip Davis Love III and the newly formed Ryder Cup task force (an idea Mickelson championed), he brought up the ill-conceived partnership of himself and Tiger Woods. Among other things, Mickelson cited that Sutton had informed the pair that they would be playing together two days before the start of the matches. Woods prefers a high spin ball, Lefty a low spin ball; ergo, Phil claimed that rather than getting familiar with the course, he had to spend an inordinate amount of time on the range get familiar with the unfamiliar balls characteristics, which hurt his preparation.

(Sutton, reached later in the day, was not amused by this:

“Somebody has to be the fall guy. If it needs to be me, I can be that,” said Sutton. “The world saw what happened. They saw it. I didn’t have to cover it up. I find it amusing that that’s an issue at the 2016 Ryder Cup. I think Phil better get his mind on what he needs to have it on this week instead of something that happened 10 years ago. If I still need to shoulder the blame for Phil’s poor play then I’ll do that.”)

Mickelson has never shied away from speaking his mind. This has been noted by many of his Ryder Cup teammates, and in particular by captain Davis Love III.

In our recent Three Club Wind podcast, my partner Brian Robin spoke of the pressure put on the Ryder Cup captain, particularly on the US side, which has won exactly once in this millennium. One gets the sense that this year, Phil Mickelson is assuming the de facto role of captain. If so, the pressure falls squarely on his shoulders. He better deliver.

 

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Meanwhile, on the Euro side, a controversy was brewing in the person of one Pete Willet, the brother of Masters champion Danny Willet. Pete gained a good bit of notoriety during Danny’s Masters victory with his hilarious in-stream tweets. Based on that, he has become a columnist for something called the National Club Golfer, and wrote this less than complimentary piece about the US team and spectators. Among other things, he had this to say:

Team USA have only won five of the last 16 Ryder Cups. Four of those five victories have come on home soil. For the Americans to stand a chance of winning, they need their baying mob of imbeciles to caress their egos every step of the way. Like one of those brainless bastards from your childhood, the one that pulled down your shorts during the school’s Christmas assembly (f**k you, Paul Jennings), they only have the courage to keg you if they’re backed up by a giggling group of reprobates. Team Europe needs to shut those groupies up.

They need to silence the pudgy, basement-dwelling, irritants, stuffed on cookie dough and pissy beer, pausing between mouthfuls of hotdog so they can scream ‘Baba booey’ until their jelly faces turn red.

They need to stun the angry, unwashed, Make America Great Again swarm, desperately gripping their concealed-carry compensators and belting out a mini-erection inducing ‘mashed potato,’ hoping to impress their cousin.

They need to smash the obnoxious dads, with their shiny teeth, Lego man hair, medicated ex-wives, and resentful children. Squeezed into their cargo shorts and boating shoes, they’ll bellow ‘get in the hole’ whilst high-fiving all the other members of the Dentists’ Big Game Hunt Society.”

News of this piece spread like fire at Hazeltine; naturally, it reached Danny, who was forced to make a hasty apology for his brother. But I can already see the “great, unwashed, Make America Great Again swarm” making life difficult for the Masters champ this weekend.

Oh, this is going to be fun.

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